Purple in Monochrome

Just a splatter

A mistake

A loud colorful speck

in a canvas of neutral.

Just, a thing

To look at

Not to admire

but to scratch off with your fingernail

To make it match the rest of nothingness

But what is the difference

A piece of trash blowing on the highway

that happens to get stuck in your windshield.

Another speck

Served its purpose now drifting aimless until it finds something to cling to,

only to annoy,and be wiped away.

Swirling through tires, I refuse to cling

Landing nowhere

Let me swim in this

Who am I

Who have I ever been

Never what I was supposed to be

Scars on my body to remind me

how I failed to give life

and how I failed

to take it

Reminders that I am physically wrong

Was I only, potential?

Just fighting to be here another day

In a place that I hate

A place that doesn't want, all of me

Only parts.

A place that doesn't care to take time

Where it's proper to do nothing but melt away

Back to that neutral nothingness

I don't want to be you

Focus on the vibrations

On the thumping heartbeat in my arm

I can't sing for you anymore

I don't even remember how to dance

Not that you looked anyway

I want to be seen

I want to be held

and pushed away

Spit at me to remind me I'm real

That maybe, I'm worth your breath

I don't want you

I just need this

I want to be alone

I will never cling

i cant stay in ...meaninglessness

I want the world to see the beauty in our pain

The art in: real.

I want to touch hearts and minds and bodies

Why is wrong to feel everything so intensely

Who's body?

It doesn't matter.

Someone who hears me

Someone who watches

Someone who takes their time

And let's me perform my starring role

Your groans to tell me I did something right

Your body can be my muse for the night

Then leave me to my craft

I don't have time to waste on gray

It's not self destruction if it's survival

I am an explanation point

In a resume for passion and truth

My cover letter is my emaciation

Am I hired now?Am I good enough for you?

No. Just Dash along

Hashtag my life away

Hoping to be found

I will never be quiet

If I have no voice I will write it out

If I have no paper

I will draw in the mud

If I have no mud

I will use my body's ink

You ask: Have I lost it.

Or found it.

It was never lost

Just hidden.

It's dusted off

It's not quite perfect

But it makes it more natural to smile

To remember how to dance

To be free

What does it matter

What does it matter

What does it matter

What's between my legs

Pussy is only thing that anyone wants of me

And its the only thing you never wanted

And fuck me for wanting to be wanted

I want everything and nothing

I want to cast my spell

And disappear

-Sasha